A miscarriage results in long-lasting and deeply felt changes in a mother's body, spirit, and mind. Because this experience affects her, it also affects her relationship with herself and influential people in her life: future baby, spouse, family, and for some, close friends. Understanding the emotional and mental effects of pregnancy loss on a mother and how to help her self-care after a miscarriage can help her grieve and move closer to holistic healing in all aspects of life.
There is no easy way to shut off the pain of going through a miscarriage, hence why self-care is so important in the time of pregnancy loss. Taking some time to nurture your emotional, physical, and mental health to recover can help you heal. There is no right approach to post-miscarriage self-care as the process is different for everyone. Here are four helpful ways to practise self-care after a miscarriage.
1. Talk about it as much or as little as you want
Today, we live in a time where everyone is encouraged to share their stories to promote healing and recovery. However, it is entirely acceptable and expected should you want to keep intimate experiences like this private and to grieve within your family. Not everyone may understand what you are going through, and it is normal to fear opening up to others in exchange for unsolicited advice, which is the last thing you need, even though they mean well.
On the other hand, if you believe that talking about your experience helps promote your recovery and healing, open up to people you feel safe to share this experience with. You can even share your experience anonymously online, and you may just encounter or accidentally connect with other mothers who have or are currently experiencing what you are going through. In this way, you know that you are not grieving alone, and there is a community to reach out to.
Either way, communicating boundaries to those around you allows you to grieve peacefully and communicates to others what you need from them as you grieve and recover.
2. Give yourself a break
It is perfectly acceptable and normal to take some time alone after suffering a loss; the grieving process is the most significant step in your healing and recovery journey, and there are no shortcuts to this. Give yourself permission to grieve away from other commitments (think work, household chores, etc), which are secondary to what you are experiencing right now. Either way, you should not feel an ounce of guilt for taking a break. A change of scenery may be exactly what you need to start your healing process.
3. Prioritise yourself first
It is crucial to prioritise your needs and respect them as you recover and heal. If you are invited to a baby shower and do not feel up for it, politely turn it down. The same goes for any events or celebrations you do not feel ready to attend and socialise. However, if you think reconnecting with your friends and being surrounded by them having fun can help you cope, do it in moderation as well.
4. Eat the right kind of food
The most common effect of losing a pregnancy is depression. With depression, losing appetite, or having no energy nor motivation to resume life roles is common. However, nourishing yourself as you recover from a miscarriage is essential as the body keeps score. Eating well is one of the primary forms of self-care; you are honouring and respecting both yourself and your body's needs and hard work despite the miscarriage. The food that you eat gives you the energy to keep going; mentally, emotionally, and physically, all of which are important to pave the way to healing.
Whether you lose your baby through a miscarriage or otherwise, experiencing grief is difficult but essential. Hence, knowing what would help you cope and start your journey towards healing is vital. Aside from moral support and time on your own, a miscarriage causes trauma to the body; resting well and eating healthy regular meals is crucial for you to recover well and prevent further health issues.
Here at Yue Zi Le, we understand what a sorrowful moment a miscarriage must be in a mother's life and do our part to care for them. To help every mother experiencing pregnancy loss, we offer nutritional confinement meals to help you regain your health and start your journey towards healing. Do not hesitate to contact us to know more about our services and menu.
View our Mini Confinement page to learn more on how we can help in this recovery period.